Merry Christmas

Sorry that I have not written for AGES! I have been busy celebrating my birthday followed by the human festival of Christmas. When I got back I found the blog in chaos. The Bunny Wabbit Of Doom is extremely cross. Mary and Marcus had tied him up with rope and were running round the place like lunatics. They seemed to think that they owned the place because The Bunny Wabbit Of Doom had been 'conquered'. They must have forgotten about me! Well they have been banished from the blog temporarily and I have sent for the strongest people on earth to try and untie the rope. Mystery Man seemed to think he was one and when I told him not to be silly he went off in a huff. He has also been fired, temporarily. Instead of him I have hired some strange alien who can't even talk. That is a picture of him at the top. He is call Qwertyuiop (pronounced qwert-ee-youp). Basically he just looks funny and that's it. Though I could try and learn the language he speaks. Let me see.

Yes.

........

Ok.

.......

So asdefedaklezmacklywarabadeftambelyroo means cat...

........

Sorry, asdefedaklezmacklywaradabadeftambelyree!

.........!

What? casmatreemaqweemackqwooma- what was it!

..........!!!

AHHH!

...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry!

.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did I say? I thought I said cat! Sorry!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOOOOORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP!

Well, that didn't go very well. I try to learn it from someone else. I am obviously not very good at it . Qwertyuiop seemed extremely insulted. And also, I though that.... hang on a minute...

You've untied him? That's great. Let me speak to him.

.......

Of, course I'm sure.

.......

Don't worry. I know how to deal with his bad moods.


HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


P.S. Merry Christmas.

Hey, be careful, you! That's my broken arm!

Birthday Party

Finally, I have destroyed all polluted puddles. Luckily, The Bunny Wabbit of Doom doesn't really seem to want to be a mutant zombie bunny anymore. Anyway, Mary and Marcus are having a huge birthday party, not for themselves but for some else whose birthday is today. You see they love parties and their latest exuse is that there are so many people in this world that it must be somebodies birthday, somewhere. So they are celebrating it. I tried to stop them but it seems they don't listen to me anymore. I suppose I could fire them.... Would you still visit the blog if there was no Mary and Marcus? I don't think I would. Anyway, I'll go chat to the guests.

Me: Hello.
Guest no1: Hello.
Me: I am the Lordess of Stuff. You may have heard of me?
Guest no1: Oh, I have! My children, Mary and Marcus have told me all about you. I'm so pleased to meet you!
Me: A pleasure. You must be Mrs MacAurthur, then.
Guest no1: Yes, I am. Marcus was telling me that you have-
Guest no2: FIRE!!! FIIIIIRE!!!!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mystery Man: Fear not, my friends! I shall extinguish these flames of firey, flamey, burny-burny stuff!
Random other Guest: Oh, thank you kind man, you will save us all!
Another Guest: You are our knight in shining armour!
Everyone: Thank you!
Mystery Man: Run, my friends, but fear not! Go! Run!
Everyone leaves...

2 minutes later....

Mystery Man: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Shall I go inside and see if he's okay?
Mrs MacAurthur: Nah...It's not too loud. I'll put some music on which will help a little. Anyway, my cakes are nearly ready, and you don't want them to get cold.

Mrs MacAurthur pulls an oven and a piano out of her music, and as we watch the flames burning towards the sky, we eat cakes and listen to music.



Well, that was fun! Bye, I'll post again soon.



Why are you still here? Oh, that! It was only fake fire. Just a party trick of Mary and Marcus. I don't know why you worry so much. I mean even if the candles had set fire to the petrol we poured all over the floor.......

Mutated bunnies.

I (I'm The Lordess of Stuff, again) found this in The Bunny Wabbit Of Doom's treasure chest. HELP!

Factfile About Me

Name: Bunny Wabbit Of Doom
Full Title: Bunny Wabbit Of Doom, Emperror of This Blog, Owner of The Greatest Bunny Army, Ruler Of A Bit of Tumbleweed, Boss of Quite A Lot Of People Stupid Enough To Work For Me.
Enemy: The Happy Dappy Bunnies
Idol: Mutated zombie bunnies
Mission: To become a mutated zombie bunny.
Plan: To find a polluted pond, or catch a virus.

Battle on!

I have not been writing for several weeks and would like to say that-
LET ME WRITE!
Sorry! The Bunny Wabbit of Doom would like to say-
I SAID LET ME WRITE!!!!
Sorry, sorry!
'Tis I, The Bunny Wabbit Of Doom, Emperor of this blog, Owner of the greatest Bunny army, Ruler of- Oh! let's just get to the point.
The point is that the Lordess of Stuff has neglected this blog and gone on holiday. I have recently been so lonely that I have found myself talking to the tumbleweed (which should not be here, Lordess!). What she, the Lordess of Stuff, does not know is that when she was gone there was a great battle between me and a new species of bunnies which started as happy dappy bunnies but fell into a HTML polluted lake and mutated in to a pink, and, though I hate to admit it, eviler version of us (meaning me and my army). One day when I was just minding my own business a herd of mutated zombie bunnies came charging towards the blog. But of course they didn't look like it. To me they were just a some pink fluffy dinner. And once they were close enough for me to notice that they had too many eyes, extremely sharp claws, fangs and that they weren't smiling, it was too late. The battle commenced.

The End

Why are you still here?
WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
Are you suggesting that I, The Bunny Wabbit of Doom, ever, possibly, even slightly, once by accident, stoop so low as not win a battle?! You'll pay for this!

The Lordess is in da house!

I am out of breath! I have arrived here from my other blog which I posted recently. I survived the void of the space between websites, the harsh, dull HTML free mountains, and many other chillingly adventurous things. And when I arrive I am unwelcome. My beautiful blog has been taken over by someone not nearly as capable as me (don't worry, The Bunny Wabbit of Doom, will not read this post. I have cleverly disguised it, so that he will read only dull news about his greatness). That certain person has written a post about me, and it's not nice things, he has told the blogs inhabitants terrible lies about how I hate him his blog and them, he has even taught them to hate me! But then when he finds he will no longer need to manage the blog, that I am back to run it, he just puts his feet up and gives me a pen and paper, as well as the dust pan and brush! I am deeply hurt and disgusted! Should I bear this feeling or should I take action-whatever the consequences may be? You decide. Please, if you reading this...COMMENT! It may save my life...

Tis I once more... The Bunny Wabbit of Doom. Just wanted to say, please comment on my great battle described above.

Tis I, the Bunny Wabbit of Doom

Grr... That stupid Lordess of Stuff! Went and found herself another blog. But this one she owns. But she obviously can't look after both. So, how she go and abandon? Oh, you'd never believe it would you? Yes she abandons me, leaving me to look after not only the blog and it's demanding readers (2 readers, how can I manage that?) but also my army (the bunny wabbits of doom), those happy dappy bunnies, the unruly Martin*twins (Mary and Marcus), the stupid peace fairy, and last but certainly not least (actually most important of all, by far) ME, The Bunny Wabbit of Doom! All she has to do is look after some thoughts. Hmph! This is disgracefull!

*Yes, their name is Martin. I, too, was fooled to believing twas McArthur. But, no. I wonder who lied? Probably that Lordess of Stuff!!!!!

School: the greatest adventure of all time

Mary, Marcus and Mystery-Man were having a picnic. It was a nice sunny in June and everything seems to be going well. The MacArthur twins are getting on better than ever. Between them lie a large bottle of coke a tin of biscuits, two tuna sandwiches, and ONE DOUGHNUT, and there still hasn't been a single slap. Mystery-Man is soaking in the shower of compliments (why can't he have a normal shower of water?) as his admirers leave the park. The village fair is on ad they have the park to themselves. Everything is going fine until out of the shadows comes a terrible creature. Not an evil giant cheese, not a rebellious fallen happy-dappy bunny, not a Darth Vader, not a grim reaper but a...

TEACHER!!!!

Mary and Marcus quiver and huddle close to Mystery-Man, but even he, the man too old to go to school and a super hero who has saved the day a million 3/4 times is looking scared. Then, it speaks.

Teacher: Ah, Mary and Marcus MacArthur. I was told by a Mr. The Bunny Wabbit of Doom that I would find you here.You have not been attending school since October.

Marcus: B-b-but-

Teacher: No! Don't explain now. Save your tongue for later. You'll be doing a lot of explaining, then- in the headteachers office. *Evil Laugh*.

Marcus: Gulp.

Marcus stands up, but Mary crawls quickly into hiding behind a tree. She is nimble and luckily waring brown and green which would have fooled most people. But, as you all know, teachers have eyes at he back of their heads. They are always watching.

Teacher: Mary MacArthur, where do you think you're going?

Mary is a., despite her falter of creeping behind the tree, a clever and knows that teachers ask questions like this so that they can get angry. If you answer truthfully they get angry for you for doing whatever you did. If you lie they get angry for you for lying. They do actually know what you were doing. That's not why they ask. If you don't answer they get angry for you for not answering. If you mumble quietly hoping they don't understand your answer but can't tell you off for not answering, then they'll throw another answer at you (what did you say?) and assume you said something rude. If you do say something rude... let's not even go there. Mary decided to tell the truth.

Mary: I w-was try-tr-tr-trying to g-ge-ge get aw-w-ay.

She (Mary) had expected this to go down badly, but even a fortune teller could not have fore said this. Teachers are very unpredictable. Which was a problem. Mary would have managed a detention of maths or writing out the entire dictionary backwards. She would not have liked it. She would have hated it in fact. But she would have been prepared for it. Not this.

Teacher: Oh, you poor thing! You must be very deeply disturbed. Why don't you talk to me about it. We'll all go back to school, and we can discus it at lunch.

Mary: Will Marcus be there?

Mary was not exactly very fond of Marcus, but it would be good moral support. The teacher had other plans.

Teacher: No, dear. Just us.

This was the last straw. Mary burst into tears and ran. But the teacher followed soon she was hot on her tracks, closer and closer. And a cold hand grabbed her shoulder.

Teacher: Come with me children.

Mary and Marcus forgot their earlier fight about the doughnut,gripped each other tightly and screamed for help. But Mystery-Man had disappeared and the park was empty. They had to face the teacher, themselves.

to be continued...

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK... where emotions are pushed to the limit and nerves are high as Marcus comes face to face with the head teacher and Mary finds herself alone with the teacher!