Mary is standing up and making a speech in front The Bunny Wabbit of Doom's lair.
Mary: I would like to say a few words on the subject of Christmas. As you know it is a time to celebrate giving and receiving. That is why I am giving a speech and, hopefully, receiving applause!
Mary chuckles. I fear she is getting precocious.
Mary: You probably know the nativity story?
Crowd: Yes!
Mary: And you obviously all know that it's...
Crowd: It's what?
I fear that the pantomime act is being attempted, though crowd don't seam very a-tempted, Ha Ha! 'Tis the season to be jolly, after all. Tee hee hee!
Mary: Oh dear, I seam to have forgotten!
Crowd: Oh no!
Yup, the panto' act. The crowd just don't get it.
Mary: Well, I was wondering if you could tell me. I really can't remember!
Yeah right!
what time is it? It's...
Crowd: Chico time?
Mary: So,
Was that meant to be a joke?
Mary: Not quite *shifty laugh*. It's Christmas time! Time to party!
Crowd: Groan.
This isn't going well...
Mary: Would somebody take my post? I need the loo.
Crowd: Great entertainer you are. Not! BOOO!!! BOOO!!!
I creep silently behind the stage where Marcus sits, half asleep.
The Lordess of Stuff a.k.a me: Psst! You go up their. Quote:Singin' in the Rain. "Make 'em laugh. Make 'em laugh" etc.
Marcus: Sure, whatever!
Marcus creeps up silently onto the stage and begins to make faces behind Mary. He is about to push her off the stage when-
Crowd: He's behind you! Ha Ha Ha!
Marcus quickly scuttles away, as Mary spins round. Then, Marcus pulls out an elf hat and a Santa costume, from a bag, behind the stage. He dresses up as Santa, and puts the hat on Mary's head, quickly running back-stage.
Crowd: Hilarious! Ha Ha Ha! Who's you're Santa friend Elfy?
Mary a.k.a Elfy: What the-??
Crowd: Elfy doesn't know! Nice hat elfy!
Elfy a.k.a Mary: Hat?
Crowd: Yeah hat!
Mary touches her head.
Mary a.k.a Elfy: HAT!!!
Marcus sneaks up, finger to his lips. He pushes Mary off the stage and takes the post of entertainer.
Crowd: Ha Ha Ha!
Marcus: Ho Ho Ho!
Crowd: What shall we receive if we give you applause? Ha Ha Ha!
Obviously they are making fun of Mary's attempt of being Christmasy.
Crowd: Yeah Santa, you bring pressies!
Marcus a.k.a Santa: Lot's of entertainment, and if you've been good boys and girls, some sweeties!
Crowd: I've been good! I've been better! I was best! No, they were all bad! I was good! No, me, me!
Santa a.k.a Marcus: You aren't getting any presents if you squabble. If you're good and line up nicely, I'll give you sweeties.
The Crowd lines up nicely, and they all receive some sweets, from a bag that Marcus found earlier.
Crowd: Thank you Santa!
Santa a.k.a Marcus: Do you wanna party?
Crowd: Yeah!
Santa a.k.a Marcus: Let's have a techno Christmas party! You up for it?
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Santa a.k.a Marcus: Sure?
Crowd: YEAH! Let's PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then out of the sky, comes a slay, full of presents. In it is a mysterious, dressed in red and white. Who could that be?
Crowd: Sorry Santa, position filled!
Santa (apparently): But-?
Santa a.k.a Marcus: Listen, Santa! They want me! D'you get that? ME!!! 'Cos I'm Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nick, whatever. So, join the party and be good, otherwise no pressies, or go away! It's you're choice!
Mary having calmed down, from her disaster, gets up on stage. She pulls off the costume from Marcus, and shows the crowd his true identity. A normal boy, 10 years of age, in a jeans and T'-shirt from gap.
Mary: See! You've been fooled! Marcus, you know the boy without a Santa suit, isn't Santa! He is!
Mary point's at Santa (the real one).
Crowd: Ha Ha Ha! We know that! It was a joke!
Boy from crowd: It was a laugh! Who here believes in Santa?
Mary puts up her hand. She sadly is alone, with this belief.
Crowd: Ha Ha Ha!
Boy from crowd: He's not Santa either!
Point's at Santa.
Boy from Crowd: See! Those reindeer can't fly! It was a trick! Mum and Dad give us the pressies! Didn't you know, little girly
Mary: No, Santa,tell them! Tell them!!!
Santa: What's you're name?
Mary: Mary.
Crowd: It's Elfy!
Santa: Ignore them Mary. They are right. They don't get presents from me.
Mary: So, you're not Santa?
Santa: I am. And before you ask, I do give some children presents. Only the ones who believe though. I would give adults presents but they don't believe. Good thing or I'd never get a rest. Hee Hee! Well, deary, you'll get lots of pressies because you stick up for your beliefs. Good girl, Mary. Keep it up!
Crowd: Awwww...
Boy from Crowd: Can we have our party now?
Santa: Yes. What sort of party?
Everyone (except a baffled looking Santa): TECHNO PARTY!!!
And so everyone danced late into thee night (Go techno, Go techno) an told their parents, who, miraculously believed them, and got presents, and as Santa predicted, he didn't get any rest.
Until next year, The End!
That's all! Better get on with stuff. actually I'm not late. Christmas only ends on the 6th of January. Hope you haven't taken down your decorations.
0 comments? 0 comments! I am shocked! I ghave toiled long an hard to bring you a funny xmas story. Season of giving you know. Well I've done a lot of giving and notn mujch revieving. At least in real life it's the opposite way round, but on the blog, well! 0 comments! 0 , 0 , 0, 0, 10000! Was that wishfull thinking? No it was a type error! 0000000000000000 coments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well by the time you read this one, but still...
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